Journal Entry From February 2nd, 2020

Hey y’all! Once again, I apologize for being so inactive... I was actually working on stuff for the first couple of months since my last post!! then i got busy with school and well... my chromebook stopped working :(. So now I am currently writing this intro on my iPad since I owe yall some content! I hate how Blogger doesn’t have an app for apple yet, but I actually do not mind typing this on the safari website. We can make this work!! Anyways, today’s post is something I wrote in the notes section of my phone almost a year ago, back when my anxiety was at an all time HIGH! If you don’t follow my private Christian IG blog ( @god_.is_.within_.her ), then this will be your first time reading it. I promise I am working on more newer content ASAP, but for now enjoy and happy holidays!!

“ okay i can’t sleep atm and i am in the mood to talk to y’all about Jesus so enjoyyy :))

here’s the funny thing about anxiety disorders- it tricks you into thinking that you have something even more wrong with you (depression, bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts, etc). people who don’t have to deal with an anxiety disorder or any mental illness really doesn’t truly understand the serious, silent pain those that are suffering go through. we ALL are fighting our own battles- whether they’re physical, mental, spiritual or even a combination of those. especially as teenagers living in a society filled with social media; we are expected to look, act, think, and even feel a certain way. at some point in life we get the feeling that we aren’t good enough or that we have to be a certain person in order to receive love. but God’s love for us is never-ending. 

| “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14 |

‬ in my opinion, those negative and evil lies we hear in the back of our minds are really the devil trying to screw with your head. I mean that is all he can really do to us. he cannot purposely cause bad things to happen in your life, so he messes with your mind to try and steer you away from your real purpose in life; its a pathetic, mischievous attempt to try and steal you away from our one true King. satan KNOWS the plans God has for each and every one of us and it honestly scares him. but despite what those negative thoughts that devil puts in our minds say, God will NEVER abandon us. He is FOR US, not against us. 

| “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ‭ Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ |

He sent his one and only Son to DIE FOR US! i mean just thinking about that is insane. we even don’t deserve that kind of unconditional love; but Jesus died that gruesome and painful death so that we could all be saved from our dirty, sinful nature. God’s love for us is never-ending, incomprehensible, and endures forever- we are ALL His children. 

| “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” Corinthians 4:13-17 |

as a christian, i think it’s good to set your own personal goals to strengthen your walk with Christ. my goals for my spiritual walk are to have others see God through me and my actions, to love all his people (which believe me, is very hard when working in retail😂), but most importantly, to spread His Gospel more often to others. however, my social anxiety makes it severely hard for me to do that sometimes. what if they judge me? laugh at me? patronize me? ...who cares? BE THE CHANGE!

| “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20 |

it doesn’t matter what other people think of you; you planted that seed. it doesn’t even have to be a straight up “do you know Jesus?” conversation. it can be just a simple smile or act of kindness. prayer is also a huge part in leading others to Christ. we’re supposed to love His people as He has loved us. in this society, the world is filled with so much evil and hatred. there’s been some sort of miscommunication between the recent decades that have gave christians a bad reputation. that doesn’t mean being prejudice or judgmental towards others because they’re still God’s people too. i have always loved the quote “love the sinner, hate the sin”. we just need to show them God’s gracious and forgiving love. because that is a love like no other. a eternal, forgiven love that will never abandon you, or forsake you. God wants us to come as we are.

 | ““All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.” ‭‭ -Matthew‬ ‭11:27-30‬ |

so basically my point of all this is that God sometimes allows us to go through these trials and battles because it makes us stronger and prepares our heart for the plans He has for us. no matter what mistakes we’ve made, He is a holy and forgiving God. we can repent to Him with our sins we’ve committed and be forgiven all because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us on that rugged cross. i’m not trying to force anyone into being a christian AT ALL. i’m just saying if you knew what a relationship with God felt like, you would WANT to change and live a life more for Him and His glory. with all that being said, that’s the end of my mini preach session for the moment haha alrighty goodnight everyone🤍”.